


Say What You Need To Say

by Blueismybusiness



Series: Valentine's Day Prompts: 7 Days of Prompts [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Break up/getting back to gether, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-10-25 17:25:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17729558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blueismybusiness/pseuds/Blueismybusiness
Summary: Prompt Day 2: “I want to say I miss you, but it won’t change anything, so I’ll just keep pretending I don’t.” -- KuroDai (Audriel)





	Say What You Need To Say

**Author's Note:**

  * For [audriel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/audriel/gifts).



Daichi cursed as the shoulder bumped him, causing some of his very hot tea to jump from his styrofoam cup and onto one of his knuckles.

“Oh, sorry,” said the stranger, but the voice was so familiar, Daichi’s head snapped up, forgetting all about his burned finger.

“Tets—Kuroo!” Daichi exclaimed in surprise and inwardly cringed at the near use of his old fling’s first name. Too many years had passed since they last spoke for him to be so familiar with Kuroo. And yet, four years later, the idea that they weren’t so close any more still stung.

"Daichi!” Kuroo replied with just as much surprise.

Both men stopped in the middle of the busy sidewalk, aggravated people sending them dirty looks as they were forced to part around the two. They stared at each other, the fact that they managed to run into each other in the middle of Tokyo after so many years apart either coincidence or fate. If Daichi hadn’t been there when they broke up all those years ago, he might be inclined to believe in the latter. As it was, as disappointed as he felt, it was only coincidence, albeit a very rare one, that they would meet by happenstance.

Still, there had been good days between them, and Daichi couldn’t help but remember them as he couldn’t keep the grin from his face. “I can’t believe—how are you, Kuroo? It’s been so long.”

Kuroo was grinning, too, that cheshire smirk that was constantly stuck to his face and used to drive Daichi wild in all the right ways. Oddly, however, something seemed off about it. “Sa’mura,” Kuroo drawled, “Unbelievable. I’m good, heading to work right now. You?”

Daichi shrugged, trying not to blush at the old nickname. “Same and same. Never thought adulthood would be this monotonous, though.”

Kuroo chuckled along with Daichi, biting his bottom lip and turning his face as he squinted at the distance. It occurred to Daichi that the problem with Kuroo’s smile was that it somehow stopped short of his eyes.

Kuroo looked good, which, considering the man, was a given. If he had put on weight since graduating school, Daichi couldn’t tell. He still looked trim as ever beneath the suit he wore, which fit him like it was specifically made to. Daichi had to stomp down other...memories, before they showed themselves on his face. Four years apart, and he could still imagine every inch of Kuroo’s naked body no matter what he wore. Daichi had spent a lot of time memorizing it.

Moving on.

“Yeah,” Kuroo agreed, “Being an adult sure is different than what you think it’s gonna be as a kid.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.”

It pained Daichi that their reunion was so stilted and awkward. At no point in time, when they used to know each other well, had there ever been a moment of tension between them.

Well, if you don’t count the sexual tension.

Oh, and the tension that led to their break-up.

Really, their relationship had been good. Perfect, even. Until it wasn’t. Then they just crashed and burned, like a plane with no pilot and no one who understood the controls. The reason for their falling out was ridiculous, something that took Daichi too long to figure out. At the time, it had been a major issue that overwhelmed them until they broke. Daichi now realized that the problem had laid in the fact neither of them had known how to deal with a real fight. They had been competitive, competition had been what brought them together and had played a significant role in their relationship, but it had always been friendly. As a couple, unlike many of their friends, Kuroo and him never actually fought. They made an excellent team. So much so that they stopped being vigilant and took their relationship for granted.

Once Daichi realized that, the fact they broke up over such an insignificant issue had kept him up at nights for a long time. He had been so brokenhearted, his world shaken by their split. He couldn’t believe that they had been so easily broken when they had seemed so unbreakable.

Daichi could have called Kuroo and apologized. He could have fought harder for them. But at the time he had been afraid. So many things had been said, things he hadn’t meant, and things he’s sure Kuroo hadn’t meant. But after a while, too much time had passed, and Daichi figured there was no going back.

He always thought it had been a mistake to let Kuroo go.

Now, four years later they randomly bumped in the middle of morning rush hour. Four years later and Daichi realized that he never let go, only ignored the pain of loss and yearning. The thing was, did Kuroo feel the same?

Would Daichi ask him?

It seemed like Kuroo was having a hard time looking at Daichi for any length of time. He would glance at him, his hazel eyes darting away to stare at a stranger or something else that caught his attention. There was a haunted look about him; that behind the confidence he exuded, the cocky provocateur mask he constantly wore, there was pain that Daichi was pretty sure hollowed out his own heart.

“So, I take it you got that position in the firm you were after?” Daichi asked, fearful that too much silence between them would have Kuroo making an excuse to run away, and Daichi wasn’t ready for him to lose him. Not again.

Kuroo looked at him, a slight frown pulling down the corners of his mouth before he caught it and covered it up with pride. “Yeah, not long after we...well, after, you know.”

“Yeah,” Daichi said, trying his hardest not to let Kuroo’s almost-words tear at his already aching heart. “I remember how hard you were working toward it. Congrats, by the way. You deserved it.” It wasn’t a lie, Daichi was very proud of Kuroo. He still had to put in extra effort to sound convincing, however.

“Yeah,” Kuroo sighed, looking down at the ground and stuffing a hand in his pocket. The other repeatedly gripped at the handle of his briefcase as if it might slip from his hands at any moment. “What about you? Did you finally get that fellowship you wanted at the hospital?”

Daichi smiled. Med school had been grueling, but worth it in the end. He had received an offer for a permanent position within the surgical department of the biggest and most advanced hospital in Tokyo. It was one of eight positions offered to two hundred residents, and Daichi had been very fortunate.

“I did. Two years and counting. It’s hard, but I love it.”

“That’s good. That’s good.” Kuroo’s head bounced as he nodded his agreement in an absentminded way. Daichi stepped forward, his desire to comfort Kuroo as always rising up.

Kuroo immediately stepped back as if afraid of Daichi, and Daichi stopped short, whatever hope he had at the thought of rekindling their relationship in any way, plummeting like a rock in water.

“So, it was good to see you, Sawamura,” Kuroo stated, the formality of his words not lost on Daichi, and he flinched before he could get a hold of himself.

“Kuroo.”

“What? It is good to see you. It’s good to know you’re doing well, I never wanted anything less for you.” Kuroo looked at his wrist where an expensive watch was attached. “I should really get going, I have a board meeting in a little while. Don’t wanna be late.”

“Yeah,” Daichi reluctantly agreed with a sigh. “Yeah, you don’t want that.” Daichi felt like he was about to get sick. His vision was swimming as the heat built behind his eyes, and he knew that the tears were on their way. He would hold off, however, until he got to work. Then he would find a private spot and let himself wallow in regret.

“I want to say I miss you, but it won’t change anything, so I’ll just keep pretending I don’t,” Kuroo said. That time, when he smiled, he didn’t bother to hide behind his false confidence, letting Daichi see his wounded heart and vulnerability. Then Kuroo turned and walked away.

Daichi didn’t want to believe in providence. He liked to think of himself as pragmatic, firmly grounded in reality. Yet, even though Tokyo is a small city as far as square miles go compared to some, there are a lot of people inhabiting it. And out of all the people Daichi has known throughout his life, it happened to be Kuroo Tetsuro, the man he has been in love with since he was eighteen, that he ran into on a random Wednesday morning.

And if that wasn’t evidence enough that a bigger hand was active in his life, then the following event should be a neon sign stating, “Don’t let him go again”, in big, flashing script.

“How would you know if you never actually say it?” Daichi answered him, and like the red sea, the rest of Tokyo heading to their respective appointments and crowding the sidewalk parted. He will never be able to explain how his words carried through the air to cut through the sounds of a busy city, and into Kuroo’s ears since Daichi hadn’t raised his voice. Yet, Kuroo stopped dead in his tracks and turned around.

Kuroo stared at him, a look Daichi hadn’t seen in years and one that used to bring a blush to his cheeks in shyness. Kuroo looked at him as if he hung the stars in the sky, as if Daichi were something better and more than the ordinary human he was.

Kuroo worried his lip, anxiety and uncertainty written all over his face. They weren’t very far apart, but it felt like miles. Kuroo took a step closer and Daichi could see him trembling.

“I miss you,” Kuroo said, his words cutting straight to Daichi’s heart, words Daichi has only dreamed of hearing. “I really, really miss you.”

  
  



End file.
